community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
honey bunches of taint.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
