You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
