this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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