yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
BRING THE BAGELS
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
