They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
