you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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