just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
