I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize