i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
