I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's never too late to be topless.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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