Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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