So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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