Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize