the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
