Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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