Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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