My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
