Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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