you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I accidentally burped into my bong.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
