Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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