Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
