I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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