Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize