It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
