i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
