He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize