This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
