I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
