Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
