Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
