At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
