So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i dont even know how to be here
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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