it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize