Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
