Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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