So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
wow bdsm is so cute
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
