he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
