At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize