Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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