Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
