my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
