i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
