You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
