Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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