I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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