well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
