Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
