what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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