summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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