i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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