shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
