LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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