that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
