ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
