Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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