...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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