just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
