He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
