i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize