You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm lost and stupid without you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
