You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
