I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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