im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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