Sry I called you an 8
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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