tell your sister to shave her snatch
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
