Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
