In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
