It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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