She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
